2015年5月14日星期四

不需要叻,也可以有自信

一年一度,籌備通識班的免費講座。

講題構思,最花心思。第一年,談恐懼。第二年,談思考。第三年,談愛。去年,談價值播種。今年,想了很久很久,我要講甚麼呢?終於決定──談自信。

事緣,每年都有家長問,你們搞「呢檔野」,最希望學生得到甚麼?反覆思索後,我會說,學生最寶貴的領悟,大概是:「不需要叻,都可以有自信。」

總覺得,在香港,為自己的學業、事業、財富、地位、美貌而自豪的人,多的是。但為了「自己」而自豪的人,幾乎沒有。

客觀條件帶來的信心,不是自信,只是自我膨脹。真正的自信是,就算我啥都沒有,都不影響我作為一個人的自我價值。

充自信的人,其實最自卑,也傾向收埋自己。真正自信的人,不怕暴露缺點,因為「露底」是進步的前設;不怕別人批評,有則改之,無則加冕;不怕跟別人不同,因為我就是我。

然而,這份自信,從何而來?我會說,是通識。如果通識就是多角度思考,那麼思考的終點,不是為了認知甚麼冷知識,而是為了自我探索。

我是甚麼人?為甚麼會有某些想法?我的經歷如何塑造了我的價值?每一個外在的社會議題探討,其實都是一次自我對照的機會。

對照產生對話,日復日,年復年,一個人能夠了解自己,接受自己,舒服地跟自己相處,才可以不亢不卑,坦然而赤裸地面對世界,講自己想講的,做自己相信的。其時,所有外在的成就,已不是重點,頂多是自信的副產品。


這個歷程,對處於青春期的年輕人來說,尤其重要。我感恩跟孩子們一起克服過成長的迷惘,希望跟你分享故事。講座日期是31/5(日)和27/6(六),報名電25120699(活道教育中心)。

1 則留言:

匿名 說...

I don't know if students in Hong Kong or Chinese students in general have low self-esteem that would affect life.

In the States, there is a specific racial group has very high self-esteem. They seems not to be defeated and demands a lot of rights. They claimed to be suppressed. Interestingly, the crime rate, unemployment rate, poverty level, percentage getting benefits, underage pregnancy are very high in this group. The N word is never allowed in the media. But, insulting words to the Chinese is okay. Or this group being mean to Chinese people does not create much ripples.

My question is whether high self-esteem really helps. You mentioned students don't have to be smart but confident.We already see the example in America that having too much confident but don't have qualities doesn't work. It is always good to have some confident but not too much.